oh boy…the cat’s out of the bag. I mentioned here that we are moving our little family across the country this summer. More specifically, from Wisconsin to Maryland. We just told our boys about it last night, who are 5 and 7. Ouch.
My husband and I, of course, believe that this move is the right decision. All logic points to it being a good thing. But that darn emotional side gets ya every time. We were already feeling occasional bouts of apprehension. But seeing “big news” like this hit your kids head on takes it to a whole different level. We tried our best to put a positive spin on the whole thing. When their little eyes started to well up, it was hard to suppress my own chin from quivering. Saying “we’re moving” out loud to them just made it so much more real for me too.
I’ve been in knots for weeks about when the right time to tell them would be…before the school year ends so they can say goodbye? After school is out so they are in care-free summer mode? I think by telling them we just moved forward one baby step. The 7 year old has one more week of school. I’m hoping that by telling him now he can say good-bye and also get some encouraging words from his first grade teacher.
I’m doing a little reliving of my childhood here as well. My family moved a fair amount as I was growing up. It was hard. My parents were so good at making it an adventure. Even when I’m sure my mother was pulling her hair out packing up a family of 5 for the fourth time in 15 years, I never saw her chin quivering. (she must’ve hid it well) I seem to remember feeling like everything would be OK and that my parents had things under control. (note to self: maintain appearance of control)
My family, circa 1975. That’s me in the rainbow shirt!
We always moved in the summertime and my parents turned it into a big vacation road trip adventure. My 2 older brothers and I sprawled out in the back of the station wagon on sleeping bags. We had our own survival kits of books, toys, and plenty of candy. Emphasis on candy. We stopped at all the major landmarks and natural wonders and every Ho Jo’s or Big Boy in between. My favorite part of the all-day car ride, was of course, the end. It was time to scope out a hotel for the evening. My brothers and I always crossed our fingers for one with a pool! (Doesn’t that sound funny these days? That there would even be such a thing as a hotel without a pool?) I’ll never forget staying at the crown jewel for any adolescent hotel pool aficionado…the Holiday Inn HOLIDOME!!!! (second note to self: candy and swimming pools)
Are you getting a little National Lampoon’s Vacation image right about now? *sigh*…ok, enough about the 70’s and 80’s, let’s get back to 2007…
My oldest wrote a little note tonight to his first grade class. It was the first thing he did after we finished breaking the news (and he stopped sobbing). It said:
Dear class,
I will be moveing to Marulind at the end of the summer.
I will miss you and the class. But it will be fun!
Love, CW
at the bottom of the page he drew a sad face with tears.
Isn’t parenting fun? It makes me realize how young the boys are and how much they have ahead of them. That life is full of change and adjustment. They will have victories, losses and broken hearts along the way. And I will be there. With candy…swimming pools…whatever it takes.
(a little note about that first photo. The lincoln log house was a wedding gift from an artist friend of ours. I wish moving our real house would be that easy!)
Awwww… bless their hearts! We’ve moved a lot, too, and it’s no fun, but kids are very resilient (as I’ve found with my daughter) and I’m sure that they will settle into their new home nicely.
Just one word of completely unsolicited advice (someone told this to me once, and it’s been a lifesaver)… pack the kids rooms last, so that you unload and unpack their rooms first when you get to the new place.
OK, no more advice, I promise! Best of luck!
I got this great idea out of one of my parenting magazines, I don’t remember which one sorry and I though if we ever move this would be a great way of helping the kids be more excited.
If you and your husband take the trip first to prepare for the big move, take pictures of the landmarks you think your children would enjoy or find interesting. Also take pictues of the new house, their rooms and yard, any parks near the house.
Then make a photo album with them but leave a blank space next to every picture for one that your child takes at that destination.
I wish I could find that article. I can’t do it justice with my explaination. But I hope you get the idea.
Have a great week.
I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes. But moves bring promises of new friendships and new places to visit. (also new local ice cream shops and thrift stores)
Good luck with the whole packing thing. We made the move to MD last fall. We love the “curvy, not flatness” of it all. The history of this state is amazing, as well as, the free state parks. So many places to have fun!
big moves like this are always scary for everyone involved. we live in the uk and moved from the north west to the midlands, away from all our friends and family, last year due to a new job. it has been a move for the better though, where we are now feels so much more like home and we’ve very quickly made a new network of friends.
I hope you good luck in Maryland with your family! ESpero que tu blog, y tus creaciones seguiran estando ahí. Saludos desde BCN
Betz, I never leave comments after reading a post… I just read and dash. It’s a bad habit… maybe I’m just shy 🙂 Anyway, I was so moved by your words and can really feel your anxiety in regards to your move and especially your boys. I went through a big move summer of 2005 – Minnesota to North Carolina and although the climate is nicer, it was a quite a transition -to say the least. Just know that it will soon be a distant memory. My very best to you & your family.
wow, thanks for all of the great ideas and support. You guys are amazing!
I moved my 13 year old daughter from Ca to Idaho a little over 2 years ago. She was depressed for about 8 months. It was horrible. But I think your kids are just the right ages. Best of luck to you!
I know exactly what you are going through. Our family of 5 left Georgia in 1999 for the Pittsburgh area. On day 366 we moved to my old stomp’g grounds outside of Philadelphia with the hopes that this would be our last move. We found in January of this year, that we would be moving to Maryland. Although it’s not too far (2hrs) from where we currently live it was hard telling our 15, 12 & 8y.o.girls. All of us go up & down with the emotions. We leave at the end of June and I have done everything possible to get them involved in summer activities where they may meet kids from the schools they will be attending. I was able to find at least one kind soul at each of the 3 schoolswho sent me information on recreations in the area (Forest Hill) that we will settle in. The 15 year old has already made the dance team at her H.S.
I hope your family’s trasition is a smooth one. Maybe it’ll be nice for your kids to know they’re not the only ones that will be new in MD. Good Luck!
i wanna tell you i will be thinking of you..God bless your family!!
Betz, this is a great post. My husband and I talk a lot about moving, making a big change. He moved with his family quite a bit as a kid too. The mere mention of the idea creates eyes the size of saucers for everyone in the house 8 and under. But the best part is watching them bounce back (probably better than we parents will) and adjust quickly in their new world. Good luck, sounds like you’re handling it all just like your mom did, very very well.
i moved around constantly as a child (military brat). it was definitely very difficult at times. but i have to say, in retrospect, it made me a much better person. change is almost always scary and painful- and exciting! really- isn’t it better to have adventures than to live in fear of them…a valuable lesson for any parent to instill in their children, yes?
what part of md…i am in md….
moving can be scary for all kids…I remember moving in 2nd grade from CT to PA. I was convinced the kids would speak another language.
for you, the move can actually spark your creativity to a much higher level. My husband & I moved our five kids (3 were in college & 2 in middle school) 5 years ago. I found that I spent much more time alone and pursued my crafts much more intensely with fewer interruptions in our new home.
Holly, welcome the new challenge
You have a very handsome family, and I loved reading your story of how your parents made it an adventure. Your eldest son sounds very mature, putting pen to paper and at the same time looking forward to the challenge and adventures ahead. I’m sure you will be there to rescue with candy and swimming pools no matter what.
I love the log house, it’s absolutely adorable and very sweet.
Wow..just read this. Remember to help the boys write their best friends and to stay in touch as long as it is necessary for them to get that closure. Losing a best friend at that age is devastating. I am sure you already know that though. I know I do. Best wishes.
-Nate